msg to the president

A message from John Cleese to the citizens of the U.S.A.

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA
and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her
Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths, and territories (excepting Kansas ,
which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for
America without the need for further elections. Congress and the
Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next
year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the
following rules are introduced with immediate effect: You should
look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then lookup
aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will
be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise,
you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the
letters, and the suffix 'ize' will be replaced by the suffix 'ise'.
Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to
acceptable levels. (look up vocabulary).

Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises
such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient
form of communication.

There is no such thing as US English. We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take
account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of -ize.
You will relearn your original national anthem, God Save The Queen.
July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns,
lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and
therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent.

Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough
to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a
therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything
more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if
you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for
your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand
what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts,
and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the
same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the
benefit of conversion tables.

Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the
British sense of humour. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on
petrol (which you have been calling gasoline)-roughly $6/US
gallon. Get used to it.

You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French
fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling
potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut,
fried in animal fat, and dressed not with ketchup but with vinegar.

The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be
referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted
provenance will be referred to as Lager. American brands will be
referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold
without risk of further confusion.

Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as
good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to
play English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English
dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to
having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough
will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities
to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every
twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of
nancies).

Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to
host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played
outside of America . Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is
a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable.

You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad. An
inland revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all
monies due(backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

John Cleese

Ken Fidlin Doesn't Watch Baseball

I'm going to have to ask that you click the link and read this article in it's entirety. Go ahead, it won't hurt. It's actually not that long, probably because Ken Fidlin ran out of inane, unsubstantiated arguments. It's right here. I'll wait for you.

The Last Word
by Ken Fidlin, as printed in the Toronto Sun

You can pick at the scabs of this Blue Jays season all you want, but no amount of introspection will solve the real dilemma that keeps this team perennially out of the playoffs.

As I see it, J.P. Ricciardi is the problem and anyone who thinks he has done a good job is in denial. Or is still swooning over Moneyball. Just a thought.

[MORE]The true concern has nothing to do with the John Gibbons’ propensity to get in his players’ faces. It has nothing to do with the offence or the defence or the bullpen or anything else related to actual baseball issues.

As I've done more and more of this style of writing, the theme has moved from generally shitty sportswriting to sportswriters who suck because they obviously don't watch the games. Here we have Ken Fidlin, and he basically admits that he doesn't watch the games. Allow me to add the perspective of someone who watches almost 1,500 innings of baseball a year. The team doesn't make the playoffs because (when they play games) they score less runs than their pitchers allow, at a greater rate than two other teams in their division. I shouldn't have to explain this to a sports columnist.

To take it even further, what ails the Blue Jays is not just Toronto’s problem, but baseball’s problem.

Uh oh. I had a feeling this was coming. Better erect a dam, because here comes the river of tears.

The Jays jacked up their payroll by nearly 40% this year, from $50 million US to more than $71 million. It was a big step up for this team’s ownership, which has lost a ton of money over the years. Unfortunately, in the pursuit of competitive balance within the American League East, that increased spending by Toronto is only a drop in the bucket.

Kudos to the Blue Jays management for that payroll increase. They're receiving revenue sharing dollars, and it appears that money is being put back into the team, which is more than can be said for many small market teams. But 15 teams still spend more than them. So if you're going with the argument that a better record is attainable through more spending, you're shooting yourself in the foot. If dollars equaled wins, the Blue Jays would be even further out of contention.

This is a division in which the two biggest spenders in baseball — the Yankees and the Red Sox — reside and, until Major League Baseball is able to figure out a way to put a punitive muzzle on the free-spending ways of those two rich franchises, the other teams that exist in the AL East have no real possibility of rewarding or growing their fan base. And any team that has no way of rewarding its fans, even occasionally, is courting disaster.

How long have you been waiting to break out the phrase, “punitive muzzle?” Did it come to you in a glorious epiphany? But that's beyond the point.

I have a simple counter-argument to Fidlin's assertion that other teams in the AL East “have no real possibility of rewarding or growing their fan base.” If you spend that $70 million like a sane person, you might just be able to field a competitive team. Look at the Twins ($64 million) and the A's ($62 million). They both have better records than the Blue Jays, and face similar financial limitations. But your GM spends money like a psychopath determined to dive into every high-risk situation the market affords.

Since 1994, when baseball split up into three divisions (creating a playoff structure of three division champs and one wild-card), the Yankees have made the playoffs every year for the past 11. Nine times they have won the AL East and twice they have made it as the wild card.

In that same 11-year span, the Red Sox have made the playoffs six times — five as the wild card, once as division champ.

Thanks for the facts, Ken. Now what does it all mean?

During that period, no team has come even close to spending as much as the Yankees on an annual basis.

True, but should they be so harshly criticized for putting money into their team? I'll get into this later, because Fidlin comes back with a monster of an observation.

Teams in the AL Central and Western divisions at least have the opportunity to compete, more or less, against teams in their own economic strata for the division titles. That’s how teams such as the Angels, the A’s, the Twins and the White Sox have been able to create some excitement in their own markets by making the playoffs.

No snarkiness, just tables:
AL WestPayrollRecordOakland$62 million72-55Anaheim$103.5 million67-60Texas$68 million65-63Seattle$88 million57-69

What it proves: Uh, payroll doesn't mean as much as you make it out. Not at all. The A's are pretty much at their spending cap (read: over $30 million less than the Angels), and are firmly ahead in the division. So they're competing with a financial juggernaut and winning.

AL CentralPayrollRecordDetroit$82.6 million81-46Chicago$102.7 million74-52Minnesota$63.4 million73-52Cleveland$56 million57-68Kansas City$47 million46-82

Once again, there is much disparity in the AL Central payrolls. The Twins aren't even close to the White Sox in payroll, but trail them in the standings by a half game. Notice, too, that the two $100 million teams in these divisions aren't even leading. The two successful teams with the low payrolls, Minnesota and Oakland, prove that you don't need to spend a lot to win; you just need to spend wisely. The Blue Jays are not spending wisely. That's the problem. Is it clear yet?

In the cases of the White Sox and Angels, they’ve even been able to win a World Series.

Chicago's $75 million payroll in 2005 ranked 13th in baseball. The Angels $61 million payroll in 2002 ranked 15th.

Occasionally, as it looks like it might this year, one of the also-rans from those divisions even gets a shot at the wild-card.

You mean the also-ran White Sox, now with the fourth highest payroll in baseball?

In baseball’s 2002 labour agreement, a luxury tax was instituted to penalize teams whose player payrolls exceeded a defined threshold. For the 2006 season, the Yankees, with a payroll of about $200 million, will pay a tax calculated at 40% of their total player salaries that exceed $136.5 million.

That's roughly $30 million in the pockets of smaller market teams. You should be grateful, because that money is being distributed to the Blue Jays.

It didn’t even make the Yankees blink. They earn revenues in excess of $300 million a year and that doesn’t even include all the money they earn from their local TV package, reputed to be the best in baseball.

Well, when you earn revenues like that, it's smart to put that money back into the business. And the Yankees do earn more money from their local TV package than any team in baseball, mainly because George Steinbrenner is smart and decided to create the station himself. There aren't rules against that; the Blue Jays could up and do that tomorrow if they so desired.

NOTE: I've been informed by a beautiful lady that the Jays may not be able to create their own regional sports network. This is only because they play in Canada, and if Canadian law prevents such an endeavor (not familiar with Canadian law), I have little sympathy.

Yes, it’s complicated, but all you need to understand is that, whatever the penalty is, it’s not large enough to deter the Yankees from spending whatever it takes to not only put the best team on the field, but to fill in the mid-season gaps when players are injured or fail to produce.

Yes, it's complicated, but you need to understand plenty more than what Fidlin purports. This is a tool used by the newspaper columnist to make themselves feel important when, in fact, they have nothing interesting to say. I mean, there's obviously more to understand than Fidlin has presented, since he's presenting a ludicrous side of a multifaceted argument.

What it all boils down to is that baseball needs a hard salary cap and it needs to share more of its revenue if it wants to build and maintain a healthy competitive balance.

Every year, the same shit. Where were you in 1994, when Donald Fehr strong-armed the owners and made a salary cap an impossibility? Why make such a statement when it's never going to happen so long as the MLB Players Association stays in tact? It's a topic revisited year after year by columnists who are frustrated that their team sucks.

I'm kind of torn on the revenue sharing issue, though. While I think it would help baseball for the Yankees to include their revenues from YES in their shared dollars, I don't feel Steinbrenner should be obligated to just hand over money from the behemoth that he created. I guess that while I don't have a clue as to how revenue should be shared, I do agree that the current system needs an overhaul. However, no matter what argument you present, I will never agree that merchandise sales should be shared. If you spend money on good players and field a good team, people will buy your merchandise, and that's money you shouldn't have to hand back to the fledgling Royals.

The Jays have a decent team and a lot of folks wonder why more fans don’t show up. Well, it’s simple. Fans aren’t stupid. How can you make an investment, both emotional and financial, in a team that begins every season with only a vague chance?

Keyword: decent team. The hype was all about the Blue Jays having a team good enough to compete with the Yankees and the Red Sox, but anyone with a modicum of baseball knowledge knew that hype wouldn't hold up.

I have an answer for Fidlin's ostensibly rhetorical query. You invest emotionally and financially in a baseball team because you have a passion for baseball, not because they're winning. They have a term for people who only stand behind their team when they're winning: front runners. We don't want no stinkin' front runners, Ken, so please don't encourage them. If you love baseball, you'll stick by your team in the best of times and blurst of times.

Last year’s NHL labour impasse was a wrenching ordeal for everybody involved. But, in the long run, there are indications that the entire game will be healthier and more stable as a result.

Or it will be stuck with record low attendances for the next decade, as precedented by the baseball strike. And what are these “indications” you speak of, Ken? Are they indications, or is that just you making stuff up to fill space in your column? The NHL stuck on OLN, a channel most people can't find on their dial. Healthy is not exactly the way I'd describe the league now, or how it projects 10 years down the road. I'll even go out on a limb and predict that the NHL will fold before it reaches the level of prosperity it was at before the strike.

In the NFL, where many revenues are shared equally, the small centres such as Green Bay and Minneapolis, can compete on a level playing field.

NFL teams play once a week and their games are televised on a national basis. Thus, it is much more conceivable to share that revenue rather than appropriate it to larger market teams. Baseball plays 162 games a year, only a handful of which are nationally televised. This just isn't a fair comparison.

When their teams fail, fans in every NFL city and every NHL city can legitimately criticize their team’s management, coaching and talent evaluation and hope that things get better next year.

You can do that in baseball, too. In fact, I just did when I said that J.P. Ricciardi is a nutjob who duped people into thinking he can run a successful baseball team. The Blue Jays have one of the worst minor league systems in the game and have a disproportionate amount of their payroll committed to guys like A.J. Burnett (4.46 ERA).

In baseball, and especially in places like Toronto, the playing field is so badly tilted that it’s not even a real issue.

Wait, what? Not even a real issue? Then why the fuck did you just write that article? Man, I love the pages of my local paper filled with stories about issues that aren't really issues. It is an issue, and it's going to take a more creative solution than, “hard cap, more revenue sharing,” to get it done.

It’s baseball’s obligation to make it an issue.

Too bad that train left the station 12 years ago.

When watching sports with a big group of guys, there's always one guy there who doesn't have a clue, but wants to fit in and seem smart about sports. So he goes and makes some wacky statement, hoping to spark debate. And when he's lambasted by his more sports-privy compadres, he spouts off nothings in a vain attempt to defend himself. I've seen this, you've seen this, and hopefully you've never been that guy. Fidlin is that guy. Fidlin is like the guy I trouned in Madden two years ago, who was “so psyched to used the Chargers because they signed Drew Brees to a long-term contract.”

Or, more accurately, he was the guy in April who was singing doomsday songs for the Yankees while thinking that his Blue Jays were the next big thing. Not that he actually did that in his columns (having a hard time finding his archives), but he's the kind of guy that would have. And then complained endlessly in August when the Blue Jays performed like, well, most reasonable people expected.

Now how about watching some of those games, Ken? I hear there's some interesting stuff to see.

My Trip to the World Series of Poker

My Trip to the World Series of Poker.



















This was photoshopped and given to me by the folks at the Full Tilt Poker Hospitality Room.

A couple of my good friends got married in Vegas on Friday (congrats Steve and Pam), and my wife and I attended the wedding. The trip coincided with the main event at the World Series of Poker and I could not pass up the chance to attend. Of course since I did not have the $10,000 entrance fee I attended as a spectectator for the most part. I say for the most part because I did play in a $175 satellite event which the winner would then be given a seat in the $1,500 holdem event. The $1,500 event had many notables in it also including Jennifer Tilley the actress and WSOP bracelet holder, Phil Hellmuth (the Poker Brat), Mike (the Mouth) Matusow, Johnny Chan, Barry Greenstein, and most famous poker player of all Doyle Brunson and his son Todd Brunson . Oh and I was eliminated from the Satellite event with pocket kings against trip twos when the ladies pocket twos held up with a third two on the turn. That's my bad beat story for the 2006 WSOP.















Doyle Brunson at his WSOP Table















Phil (the poker brat) Hellmuth and myself at the 2006 WYSOP.

The highlights of my trip to the WSOP was that I was lucky enough to meet, get photo's with and get autographs from nearly all the big names in poker. I even got to discuss strategy with Phil Hellmuth over a cup of coffee and talk about Doyle Brunsons book with Doyle Brunson himself.













Jennifer Tilley at the 2006 WSOP

Jennifer Tilley was really nice and she has become my favorite celebrity poker player. After I gave her a Santa Fe County Sheriff's Pin, she proudly wore it on her green sweater while she competed in the $1,500 event. I spent two days hanging around the main event and saw Daniel Negreanu (kid poker) get knocked out at 229th place and collect his $42,000 winnings. I also was present when Joe Hachem last years defending champion was knocked out of the main event at 238 place also collecting $42,000, after he outlasted all previous bracelet holders.

For those of you unfamiliar with the WSOP there were 8773 players who each put up $10,000 or won a seat from various online poker sites or they could have also won a seat from one of the thousands of casinos across the world. Out of all these players one will be named world champion with an estimated 12 million dollar first place prize. The top 12 players will each receive over 1 million dollars and even the 873 place finish paid $14,000 with prizes going up from there to the first place 12 million dollar prize.















WSOP Champion Johnny Chan at the 2006 WSOP

I took a lot of pictures but I used a 35mm camera so once those are developed I will post some of the more notable ones. I took a few with my camera phone and those are posted today in this blog post. In the next few days I will chronicle my WSOP adventure with photo's and also talk about meeting Bill Engvall the comedian from the Blue Collar Comedy show with Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy. We met at Gilley's located at the Frontier Casino. I also have pictures of Bill Engvall and provided my film develops ok I will post them, I have my fingers crossed. Until next post, be safe and have a great day!

This one's for Zidane.

.






















para one, another zinadine zidane impostor.


Para One - Midnight Swim
Para One - Musclor Feat. TTC
Para One - Clubhoppn


we all have many reservations about the whole 'french hiphop' scenario. that said, i can't but appreciate 'musclor' for the tremendous, supersonic production. from his debut long player epiphanie, which is not exactly umbrella-ble (more an 'electronic' album), but contains some razorsharp, hard hitting beats. you might know this guy from various 12''/remixes (notably that daft punk remix (which is also tremendous) or that one track featuring busdriver). you can stream some of that here. it looks a promising year for the institubes crew.

i ain't lyin' ta ya, TTC rap isn’t exactly my thing, but when that snakecharmer synth on 'musclor' starts churning, i lose my shit. (a tremendous, stadium-thunder-clap swoosh/thud to boot). imagine bun b over these. also, i fondly remember hearing ‘clubhoppn’ for the first time on that one radioclit mix (outro) and thinking to myself, "i swear on monica bellucci’s bosom.... this gotta be the most incredible switch-up electronic beat (/song) i never heard." (esp around the 2:13 mark when the track turns, and then slowly morphs into a monster/ speedy gonzalez) it has that cold jet-engine dynamic and that dizzying acceleration-effect not dissimiliar to watching marion jones return to form or our resident friend at barcelona samuel eto'o, GO. and go. go. go. go. go. go. go. and go). yeah, so much shift/speed about the stuff this guy makes.

on a final note, i hope zidane zinadane—less for the sake of the french (we all know how we love them), and more for the sake of elegant football all around the world (and as one of the last dimming stars of the old midfield skool)—will bring it all home tonight.

poker superstars: Maryland accountant Benjamin Lin thrashes all ...

by Nolan Dalla filed under World Series of Poker


Las Vegas, NV – When play at the final table of the $5,000 buy-in Seven-Card Stud championship became three-handed, a few bystanders glanced at the remaining players up on the main stage at the Rio. They had the following exchange:


Spectator 1: Who’s left?

Spectator 2: I see Cyndy Violette up there.

Spectator 1: Who else?

Spectator 2: There’s Sean “Sheik” Sheikhan.

Spectator 1: What about the other guy?

Spectator 2: I don’t know. He’s just some other guy.


Benjamin Lin represents all the “other guys” who play poker. He epitomizes many thousands of mostly-unknown names and faces who plow through huge tournament fields, make final tables, yet are not given the attention and admiration they probably deserve. While television and media focus mostly on the poker superstars, many “other guys” (and ladies, too) are out there day in and day out fighting for prize money and respect – not necessarily in that order.

Three days ago, Benjamin Lin walked into the Rio Las Vegas as a 31-year-old accountant from suburban Washington-DC, who liked to play poker in his spare time. After winning the Seven-Card Stud championship at the 2006 World Series of Poker, presented by Milwaukee’s best Light, Lin is walking out of the Rio as the latest WSOP gold bracelet winner. He pulverized a highly-competitive field of 182 entrants who each put up five grand in what has become known as the “world championship” of one of poker’s most long-established games.

After 174 players had been eliminated over two days, eight players took the final table on the Rio poker stage. The eight finalists comprised a formidable lineup. Two were former WSOP gold bracelet winners – “Miami John” Cernuto with three wins, and Cyndy Violette with one victory.

This final table was exceptional for at least one reason. Perhaps no single individual has done more for poker during his lifetime than Mike ‘The Mad Genius” Caro. The former hippie used to destroy lowball draw games that were popular in California during the 1970s. Later, he started writing about poker and became one of the game’s top theorists. Caro played against (and beat) a computer, devised numerous strategies that helped thousands of poker players, and appeared on national television numerous times as the game’s top spokesman. In the 1990s, he founded “Mike Caro University,” which held classes at the Hollywood Park Casino in Los Angeles. Books, magazine articles, and seminars turned losers into winners. Yet for all of his contributions to poker science over the years, many newcomers still do not know of Caro’s profound impact on the game.

In the stud event, Caro -- who rarely plays in poker tournaments -- was making his first WSOP final table appearance in twenty years. Unfortunately, “The Mad Genius” was the first player to bust out. He lost holding (Q-10) 10-K-5-2 (X) against (K-10) A-K-3-7 (3) – which made two pair. Caro collected $21,385 for eighth place, which was his third cash at this year’s World Series.

Lupe Munquia went out next. Munquia, who owns a paint and body shop in Odessa, Texas, crashed in seventh place when his split kings were topped by two pair. Munquia had (K-4) K-2-A-10 (3) which lost to Allen Kessler’s (J-3) A-8-3-8 (6). Munquia received $29,939.

Patrick Bueno was the next player to be eliminated. The businessman from Paris, France went out on a diamond draw, which missed. Meanwhile, his opponent Benjamin Lin made a lowly pair of nines which was enough to take down the pot. Bueno was sixth – good for $38,493.

On the very next hand, Benjamin’s chip stack increased even more when he knocked out veteran poker superstar “Miami John” Cernuto. “Miami John,” who once worked as an air traffic controller before becoming a full-time professional, went off the radar screen when his buried tens failed to improve. Cernuto had (10-10) Q-3-J-2 (8) which lost to Lin’s (Q-8) Q-J-A-5 (4). Fifth place paid $76,986.

Allen Kessler has been playing on the tournament circuit for five years. The Temple University graduate has cashed many times and has made it to several final tables, but he has yet to achieve a WSOP win. Kessler’s attempt came up short again when his split tens improved to two pair, losing to Cyndy Violette’s higher-two pair. The final hand showed Kessler with (K-10) 10-3-5-4 (4) against Violette’s (J-6) 2-J-Q-K (Q). Kessler collected $76,986 for fourth place.

When play became three-handed, Cyndy Violette had to like the circumstances. Violette, who has been playing professionally for 15 years and who is one of the East Coast’s top Seven-Card Stud players, was competing for gold bracelet Number Two. This marks the third consecutive year she has made it to a WSOP final table. Violette was the early aggressor but just as it appeared she might run over the table, her two opponents began playing back at her and started taking down big pots. On her final hand, Violette was dealt several high cards and missed a flush draw, which knocked her out of the tournament. Violette’s (Q-9) A-10-7-K (X) with four hearts was cracked by Lin’s (K-K) 8-6-6-3 (X) which made two pair. Cyndy Violette received $102,648 for third place.

Sean “Sheik” Sheikhan has been described as poker’s lightening rod. He certainly electrifies any game he plays in – mostly the world’s highest-limit cash games. Sheikhan did his best to unnerve his opponent with table talk, daring his adversary to call when at a competitive disadvantage and at other times simply making it clear to everyone within listening distance that the “Sheik” was the better poker player. Unfortunately, Sheikhan ran bad in heads-up play, often starting with a solid hand which turned into a loser.

Sheikhan lost the final hand of the night when his (9-6) K-A-K-J (2) was snapped off by Lin when he caught an inside straight on seventh-street. Lin ended up with (9-9) 6-8-10-5 (7) – good for the ten-high straight. Sheikhan, who was born in Iran and now lives in Las Vegas, collected $171,080 for second place.

Benjamin Lin took his place the elite class of 396 players (out of over a 100 million worldwide) who have won a WSOP gold bracelet over the entire 37-year history of the world’s premier poker spectacle. Lin’s winnings amounted to $256,620.

Winning an event at the World Series changes everything. Perhaps the next time he makes it to a final table heads-up, the conversation will now describe Benjamin Lin as a poker champion – playing against the other guy.


Note: “X” denotes unknown card.


Overall Tournament Statistics (through end of Event #28):

Total Entries to Date: 25,432

Total Prize Money Distributed: $ 52,786,707

Customer Service, and the Opposite...

First the customer service: (quoted from Cardplayer.com):

On Sunday evening, PokerStars.com held a $215 “second-chance” World Series of Poker multi-table satellite for those who may have taken an early exit from the huge qualifier held the same day, which attracted 7,377.

The second-chance tourney didn’t attract nearly that many people to the evening tournament, but still generated enough of a prize-pool to send another 21 players to the WSOP main event.

So imagine the players’ frustration when, with 25 people left, PokerStars.com’s site went down for almost an hour, the first time that Lee Jones, the site’s poker room manager, can remember that happening in more than a year, he says.

But the wait would be worth it for all the players, especially the short stacks who were facing elimination before the outage. When the site came back online, the people at PokerStars.com decided the right thing to do would be to award all 25 remaining players a $12,000 WSOP prize package.

And the other side of the coin: (also from CardPlayer.Com)

A group of seven poker pros (Howard Lederer, Annie Duke, Andy Bloch, Phil Gordon, and past World Series of Poker champions Chris Ferguson, Greg Raymer, and Joe Hachem) have filed an antitrust lawsuit against World Poker Tour Enterprises, claiming that WPTE violates antitrust laws with the release form they require all players to sign, which allows WPT to use any players likeness in any way they choose.

Now this isn't a case of a bunch of whiney pros bitching about how these companies are making money off of them - they have a very legitimate gripe (each of the players involved already has a contract with a different company guaranteeing that company the exclusive use of their names and images). Read the article.

“This is about the control of your own name and likeness and in poker that’s all we have,” Lederer said. “You could find yourself endorsing products you don’t believe in. I should be able to make that decision. I don’t want the WPT deciding for me.”

Well, the WPT is a made for TV product, so Howard's point can't be taken to the extreme where each player has to agree to each camera shot used - but I certainly don't think WPT should be able to use Lederer's image to endorse products without his permission.

“I’ve been trying very hard to get a fair release,” Ferguson said. “Sometimes this release conflicts with deals you already have.”

-KD

Cooperstown Recap

Thursday – Friday June 22 – 23…The Drive Up to New York.

I spent most of the morning at work preparing for the trip. At noon I went home to finish packing and take Will to his doctor’s appointment. Then it took me until 6:20 to finish up all the work had to do. Even with a quick stop in Commerce to pick up supper, we made it to Jefferson by 11 pm. We stayed up a while longer talking to the Millers.

After Mr. Miller’s bacon and egg breakfast, we got off at 6:20. We drove through Charlotte and halfway through Virginia, not stopping until 12:15, north of Roanoke. Will napped most of the way. We gassed up and grabbed some Wendy’s. For the rest of the trip Will manned the atlas, figuring and recording when we’d reach the next state line or other major point. We made Pennsylvania by two and New York by five, with one pit stop. Most of the trip was made in overcast weather, which was great. In northern PA the rain came down pretty good, and didn’t stop until we were driving into Cooperstown.

The New York interstates were a scenic drive through green valleys, passing tiny villages. There were no billboards and little development, making our final dinner and gas stop challenging. As we got off at the Cooperstown exit, Will was as excited as I’ve seen him, calling Ceil and both grandparents. With nothing but unpacking on the Friday evening schedule, I wasn’t in the biggest hurry to arrive, as I knew there would be a crowd. We turned in and went to the back of a long line of cars. It took well over an hour to get through and unpacked and get the car parked.

Cooperstown Dreams Park

CDP hosts 96 teams a week throughout the summer, employing over 300 young people. Unaffiliated with the Hall of Fame, each of the 60 numbered barracks sports a photo of a hall of famer, based on the number. Seven is Mickey Mantle, 42 is Jackie Robinson. We’re in 49, Hoyt Wilhelm. Each barrack sleeps twenty. There are 22 fully manicured, lighted fields…so nice that no practice is allowed, only games. There are batting cages and a practice field located near the barracks, across a creek from the fields.

The business has been in operation for ten years, boasting that this is every young boy’s dream, to play ball in Cooperstown. This year over three thousand teams were turned away. This week there are 33 states represented, including Hawaii, as well as a team from Canada. There are twelve teams here from Georgia, most from North Atlanta - including another team that had recruited Will. Frank McElwain, Will’s coach this year at Mt. Paran, is here this week with his younger son Clay.

CDP seems to placate to the big budget “select” teams scattered throughout the country. In the player’s organizational meeting they boasted of the various home run and pitching records, and how eleven players selected in the recent MLB draft had played here. There are concession stands open from dawn until 10 pm, as well as a large souvenir stand, custom photo booth, and video game arcade. As well as drawing in the extra money, it at least gives the kids a chance to slow down a bit between the many games

There are stories of the select teams that charge $1,000.00 just to try out, $10,000.00 if you make the team, with no guarantee of playing time. If a 12-year old comes along that’s better, you can be kicked off the team. One team hired ex-Florida Marlins manager Jim Leyland to manage the team.

Another money maker is the trading of team pins. Each player buys a hundred of their team pins, at a cost of over a dollar. When they get to Cooperstown the boys swap pins for the pins of the other teams. Teams try to outdo each other for the most elaborate pin…some blink, others have bobbleheads, some are really big. Hawaii has two pins…one is a surfboard shaped keychain. Even umpires have pins. We’ll be relaxing in the barracks and a boy from another team will peek in, wanting to make a trade. Some boys put their pins on towels, others buy ‘pin books’ to hold their pins.

There are pages and pages of rules and instructions. Most are for the safety of the players, others to keep things organized and running smoothly. All players must wear their pants legs pulled up to their knees. Each player is issued both a home red and a road blue jersey. Combined with the mandatory plain, unstriped white pants, it’s quite hard to keep up with which is your team.

There’s at least one other camp that has opened up in the area copying the idea…to serve as competition. They offer air conditioned rooms and maid service!

Saturday June 24th…”opening ceremonies / skills competitions”

The first full day was designed to create chills and memories, though by the age of twelve, many of these boys aren’t impressed. After breakfast and team pictures, we hit the batting cages and practice field. I worked with Will a bit to get ready for that evening’s “Golden Arm” competition…hitting a target at home plate with a throw from centerfield. After lunch the boys played wall ball, traded team pins, and we attended the organizational meeting.

After an early dinner all the teams congregated in the meal tent to line up to march into the stadium for the opening ceremonies. A mom on the team reported the same stories were told that we heard in our meetings, the same grandchildren and nephews introduced. Three guys parachuted onto the field, we marched in and were introduced by team. Since many events are conducted in alphabetical order by team, it’s not fun being named Shaw Park. I hear that on Thursday we are dismissed in reverse order, which is nice. The Canadian and USA national anthems were played.

The skills competition came after the Opening Ceremony…home run derby, fastest runner, golden arm, and around the horn…where the teams are timed making twelve throws around the field. The winning time turned out to be under 21 seconds. Shaw Park took over 35 seconds, due to a couple of errant throws. All the teams stayed on the main field for Around the Horn, and one player from each team went to adjoining fields for the individual competitions.

Throwers scored five points in the Golden Arm by hitting a one foot bull’s-eye at home plate from centerfield. Hitting the outer three foot diameter red circle was worth three points, and hitting the rest of the target was one point. A bounced throw hitting anywhere on the target scored one point. You got three throws. Most boys were bouncing the ball due to the distance, and most missed on all three throws. Many more only scored one point. Only two of the 96 hit the bull’s-eye, and only a few more hit the red circle. About ten boys scored three or more points to advance to the finals. Will’s first throw easily covered the distance, but missed to the left. The strong throw awakened the crowd. He also missed to the right on his second throw, but hit the target on his last throw.

After the 96 teams had completed the Around the Horn, the finals of the individual competitions were conducted. The fastest runner circled the bases with a time under 13 seconds. Many home runs were hit completely out of the park, providing all the other players packing the stands a thrill.

Will Pitches 5 Shutout Innings

The boys got to sleep in Sunday morning, having only to make it to breakfast before 8:30. The first game was at eleven against the Utah Curve. The Curve’s number three hitter hit a two-run homer in the top of the first, and even after the Cougars tied the score with Trevor’s two-run homer in the bottom of the inning, two leadoff walks in the top of the second inning put the Cougars in the hole again.

Will came in to pitch with nobody out and struck out two batters, and allowed no further damage. He pitched five shutout innings, throwing 42 strikes in 54 pitches, striking out three and walking none, retiring the last eleven batters in a row. It was his best pitching performance ever, and this was a tough team. He also had an assist.

At the plate he walked all three times, only seeing two strikes. In the third he was balked to second, reached third on a fielder’s choice, and scored when the catcher’s pickoff throw sailed past the third-baseman. Trevor accounted for the other six runs, going 3 for 3 with 5 RBIs.

Game Two: Web-Cam Loss

After lunch the sunny day turned cloudy, and we felt a few raindrops as we warmed up for the 4:30 game. The rain slowly continued to increase, and as we walked to the field an announcement was made postponing the game, as more rain was expected. We went back to the barracks to rest, and then went to dinner early in expectation of a later game. As we began eating, we noticed other teams hastily rushing to the fields…so much for supper, the games were starting in 15 minutes.

The Cleveland School of Baseball extended an early lead to 4 – 1 after four innings. Will had flown out to deep right and caught a pop in center, then rifled a line drive to the fence in right center during the Cougars three-run fifth inning. The game was played in a steady rain. Shaw Park could’ve won, but had three runners thrown out on the bases, failed to execute a squeeze bunt, and allowed three unearned runs on defense.

Will Homers in Monday’s Rain Delayed Game

The rain continued throughout the night. This allowed the boys to get some extra sleep, having gone to bed early for their 8:30 game. The game started on time, but the rain steadily increased. They were playing the Santa Fe Red Sox, a select team from near Gainesville Florida. They had plenty of fans, one of the nicest pins to collect, and they sported team issued red Nike spikes.

Coach Bauer mixed up the order and defense, including moving Will to bat leadoff and play shortstop. Will threw out two batters at first, and scored on a wild pitch, and the Cougars led 3 – 2. Then Santa Fe nearly batted around in the bottom of the third, scoring five runs to retake the lead…two of them unearned. Then the game was suspended for the rain.

We had lunch and tried to get the players to rest a little. Finally the game was resumed at almost four in the afternoon. The scoreless fourth inning went by quickly, with only six batters coming to the plate. Will threw out another batter from short.

Will came up in the top of the fifth with one out and working the count to two balls and a strike. A tall right-hander was pitching for Santa Fe, and he seemed to have a speedy fastball and a good curve, as well as a changeup. He had entered the game in the third inning and faced six batters before Will came up, striking out four. The next pitch to Will was on the outside corner, and Will hammered it deep to rightfield, far over the eight foot fence for a home run.

The right-hander quickly retired the side, then the rain increased, and the game was postponed again. The other parents had secured the home run ball, but soon all games were suspended for the rest of the day. As the rain continued, the parents were taking their kids out to dinner. Will and I finally got the chance to drive into Cooperstown and walk around the many shops.

Tuesday…More Rain

I woke up early Tuesday morning to the sound of a steady downpour. The rain continued from at least 5 am through 10 am, and made yesterday’s rain seem light. While Coach Tom and the rest of the team slept, I showered, ate a quick breakfast, and picked up the laundry. Just before breakfast ended at 8:30, I woke everyone up. The small lake was now overflowing its banks, and the small stream was now a thundering river, flowing down and flooding the practice field.

With little to do during the downpour after breakfast, Coach Tom and I got the boys to clean the filthy room. We got all the wet shoes drying by the fan, distributed all the clean laundry, gathered all the dirty laundry, hung the wet batbags on the railing of the bunk beds, and swept the floor. The transformation was amazing. Then the boys took showers and played whiffleball.

At noon it was decided that Sunday suspended games would finish at three, and our Monday game would finish at four. I jumped at the chance to hit downtown Cooperstown again, and took Bengie and Ryan to meet their dads. The sky opened up again, so we ate lunch at the park while waiting…we still got drenched going to the car.

The rain continued throughout the afternoon, eventually postponing all games again. This meant we could take our time at the Hall of Fame.

The National Baseball Hall of Fame.

With all there was to see at the Hall of Fame, I actually thought there would be more…but much more would be overkill…how many old mitts, jerseys, and spikes could you see? There was an introductory multi-media presentation, baseball art exhibits, the Who’s On First? Video, a locker room displaying mementos from all the teams. Greg Maddox had shoes, caps, and jerseys in both the Braves and Cubs lockers, as well as in an area displaying the dominance of the Braves. There were sections devoted to the Negro Leagues, amateur baseball, Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron, Joe DiMaggio, Lou Gehrig, the World Series, balls from all the no-hitters, and women in baseball.

The section displaying the top ten lifetime and active statistical leaders was interesting, particularly to see how Aaron, Maddux, Barry Bonds, and other former Braves stack up. There were World Series championship rings from every year, that increased in size. The entire museum was laid out in chronological order, from baseball’s beginnings to the recent World Baseball Classic. There were displays on stadiums and ballpark entertainment, replete with part of the exploding scoreboard from old Comminsky Park, old turnstiles and cornerstones from Ebbets Field, and the Phillie Phanatic costume.

Our journey through the museum took us to the small theatre just in time for the daily trivia contest, organized like ‘Who Wants to be A Millionaire”. I knew lots of the questions, but never knew the first question quick enough to make it down to the hot seat. I doubt I could’ve made it through all ten questions in a row, even with the two lifelines.

After the HOF we wandered around the downtown area. Former Yankee and Brave Clete Boyer was there signing autographs for $25.00. Playing in the late 60’s and early 70’s, the salaries were still in the low pre-free agency era. One store was devoted solely to Yankees and Red Sox merchandise, and had some unique T-shirts. One store still had merchandise on the sidewalk, but the door was locked, with a “back in 10 minutes” notes posted. Turned out the merchant was downstairs pumping out his flooded basement!

Doubleday Field is a nice old stadium just off the main street, where two MLB teams play the annual HOF game. During the summer teams book games there, though none going on due to the rain. Just south of the HOF is a park, and a large lake is just two blocks north of the Hall.

Wednesday…More rain

It was still raining Wednesday morning, but the single–elimination tournament was scheduled to begin anyway. I took a quick trip to town, but many roads were blocked due to the flooding. Parking lots were washed out, and one small store was in danger of being dragged into the creek. People couldn’t make it to work, and the hospital and HOF were closed.

The Cougars had a first round bye, and played the Thunder from south Florida at 4 pm. It was a tight game. Will played another errorless game at shortstop, and had two putouts and an assist. He hit the ball hard all three times. In the fourth he drove the ball to right field, where the ball appeared to have been dropped, but the umpire said the fielder had made the diving catch. Will did single to left in the sixth and stole second, but he was stranded there.

Clay had started the game and walked the first two Thunder batters. Both scored. Then Parker came in and pitched great…striking out five in 3-2/3 innings. He only walked one batter…who scored. The Thunder only managed two hits the entire game, but they made them count…driving in the three runners who had walked. The Cougars had six hits…exactly one every inning. They were only able to score one run.

Will was brought in to pitch with two out in the last inning. He threw two pitches. The first hit a batter, but the second induced an easy grounder to end the inning. The Cougars lost 3 – 1, and were out of the tourney.

We spent the evening watched some good baseball as the better teams kept advancing. I was shepherding players around and coordinating with their parents.

Thursday…Another Loss.

I woke to the sound of players thumping their batbags on the pavement in unison. I opened my eyes and glanced out the screen door…it was 7:45, and the players were dressed and headed to their 8:30 games. There would be consolation make-up games for the teams already bounced from the tourney, since so many were rained out in the days before. The schedule hadn’t come out the night before, so I was panicked.

I ran out to the info board to find we were scheduled to play at 10:30…against the East Cobb Eagles. Most of the Cougars were spellbound by the talented opposition, blaming umpires and each other for their own mistakes. Will had another great game, reaching base twice, stealing second, scoring a run, and almost making another remarkable diving catch in center. Stretched out horizontal, he snowconed the ball…but when he landed, the ball popped out of the end of his glove.

Batting second in the top of the first, the first pitch to Will came inside. Will turned away, but the pitch hit him in the helmet. It was immediately apparent that he was fine, and he stole second on the next pitch. He then took third on a wild pitch, and tagged up and scored from third on T.K.’s fly to left…a rare feat in Cooperstown. He came out of the game after the third inning, as the team had played these games batting only nine.

Will re-entered the game in the 5th as an injury replacement, as the right-fielder. The first pitch was hit deep to right. Will caught the ball and fired home, as there was a runner tagging from third. The throw was perfect, and catcher Andrew made a one-handed catch and tagged the runner. Unfortunately Andrew slightly bobbled the ball, and the call was safe. Will finished the game having caught four flies in the outfield.

The Cougars made 5 errors in the field, and lost 12 – 6. It was 12:30 in the afternoon. I would’ve liked to make the 7 pm Phillies game, but with more pictures to take, all the packing to do, many roads and highways washed out, and a thousand other details to take care off, it was logistically impossible. We also watched more playoff games and attended the closing ceremony, when everyone was awarded their Cooperstown ring. During the rainy championship game between two Florida teams I finally got to spend some time talking to my friends Frank McElwain and Steve Cannon, who had recruited Will for their travel team. Frank had been Will’s coach this year at Mt. Paran. I stayed up until 12:30 packing.

Friday…New York City and Washington DC.

With the remaining players and Coach Tom still asleep, Will and I tip-toed out and got on the road before 6 am. We headed north and east to Albany, then south to New Jersey. We circled Newark on the perimeter, and were doing so good on time that when we were ten miles from Staten Island, I decided to take Will on the Ferry. The drive across the island was interesting enough, and Will enjoyed the ferry ride past the huge bridges, Ellis Island, and the Statue of Liberty to Manhattan.

The fun detour took longer than I had hoped, and we had to hustle to Washington. The interstate through New Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland was loaded with holiday traffic. Will enjoyed the large bridges and tunnel under Chesapeake Bay in Baltimore, but he slept most of the trip.

We turned into the parking lot of Washington’s RFK Stadium at 5:25 pm, just missing the planned 5 pm arrival time. We had no trouble finding our friends Myron and Kirkland, and we enjoyed watching the Rays trounce the Nationals 12 – 1. There were no good spots to catch BP home runs, so we relaxed in our shady seats under the press box. New owner Stan Kasten struck a familiar pose, pacing behind the cage talking on his cell. We later saw him walking into the GMs box, and he was interviewed on the TV broadcast. Carl Crawford hit two homers, and Rocko Baldelli hit one.

We stayed for the whole game, and didn’t make it to the Broadwells house in Fredericksburg until after midnight. We hung around socializing most of the morning, and more heavy traffic made the trip home take eleven hours. For the second straight day Will slept a good part of the trip.